If you are divorcing, it’s possible you are not feeling very charitable to your spouse right now. One thing to remember is that, however justified your negative opinion of them may be, you need to be extremely careful about letting yourself express it.
That’s not to say you should keep everything bottled inside. Rather, if you need to let off steam to someone, you need to think carefully about whom you do it with. A therapist is one option, as you can trust that whatever you say will stay in the room– and a few close friends or family members may also be acceptable outlets.
If you express your opinions in the wrong place or to the wrong people, however, your words could come back to haunt you. Here is why.
1. It might get back to your children
If you share minor children with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you will need to continue communicating about them. It is easy to let a negative comment slip out within earshot of your kids. For example, during a frustrating phone conversation with your spouse or over a glass of wine with friends when you think the children are asleep. Hearing it could be hurtful for your children.
2. It might get back to your spouse
While walls don’t actually have ears, there are a lot of people who might overhear something you say and feed it back to your spouse. Examples could include mutual friends and people in places you both frequent.
3. It might get back to the judge handling your divorce
A judge will probably hear anything negative you say in court, so it’s important to stay calm there. But your negative words could also reach the judge’s ear via your spouse’s attorney. They might have trawled your social media to search for anything they could use against you, such as anything that makes you sound unreasonable or threatening toward your spouse.
There’s a lot to think about during a divorce, so having someone experienced and knowledgeable to guide you through it can help.
