When you first meet the person who steals your heart, everything is perfect. It’s almost as if your beloved can do no wrong. You may idolize them to the point that they seem to inhabit the world’s highest pedestal. But after the two of you tie the knot, the rosy picture seems to darken. You discover their flaws – and your spouse discovers yours as well.
The cracks in a marital relationship can start showing up fairly soon. There are often early telltale indications that something is amiss behind the white picket fence, yet couples sometimes choose to ignore them rather than face their problems head-on.
If you can identify the issues that are driving the two of you apart, you have a shot at fixing them. On the other hand, your marriage could be headed for the rocks if you don’t work to shore it up.
Signs of trouble in a marriage
These problems can begin subtly, then become ominous:
- You can’t communicate candidly. Without honest two-way talk, your marriage may be doomed.
- You can’t agree about money. If one of you has expensive tastes and the other clips coupons, you need to figure out how to reconcile your divergent approaches and attitudes toward money.
- One or both of you have stopped putting effort into the relationship. Each person has to keep working on it consistently to ensure that it stays healthy, even after the initial infatuation ebbs.
- There are major trust issues. If you and your spouse don’t wholly trust each other, the alarm bells are ringing already.
- One or both of you were pretending to be someone you’re not. When couples are not up-front with each other from the get-go about their hopes, values, parenting styles and attitude toward money, those issues can be troublesome later.
When you’ve reached the end of your rope with your marriage
Perhaps the state of your marriage has deteriorated even though both of you tried to patch it up. Maybe it’s time to think about other options, like divorce. It’s not throwing in the towel, it’s moving on for your own benefit and well-being.